I think wishes should be for the future as they can do nothing for the past.
1 Praying. I wish I would have paid more attention to the word of our Lord much earlier in life to learn compassion, although I believe in my heart he waited to let me find my faith for this exact reason.
2 Paying attention to my mother. I refused to learn the musical lessons from age 5 on that might have made a difference in my teenage years as I headed into the wastelands.
3 Drinking coffee. If I had started letting this magical bean course through my mind and body in high school maybe I would have wanted to pay more attention which might have changed the outcome later on.
I wish I hadn’t started.
1 Following in my dad’s footsteps of becoming an alcoholic and extending it into bullishness and inconsideration, a bad habit that took way too long to correct in life.
2 A family. Don’t get me wrong, I love all three of my kids but neither of us were fit for being parents and we knew it. Revenge is a horrible tool to use this for and if I would have just walked away when I filed for divorce this wouldn’t have happened.
From Past to Present
Do I continue to stay on Wishbone Road or take the exit onto the Avenue of Awareness? Both are filled with potholes of disasters that can quickly cause destruction and/or chaos. Maybe the back road of oblivion is the logical choice.
Sitting at the intersection of Wishbone Road and the Avenue of Awareness I am staring at a red light. Traffic is almost non-existent for the moment but rush hour will arrive again soon enough. I am scanning all directions of travel looking for the next avenue to explore. The road I’m on with Electric Evolution has been detoured for now due to indecision and the feeling of Imposter Syndrome.
Facing the Future
One thing is for sure and very clear. The cigarette cul-de-sac I had been stuck on for 60 years has finally showed me the exit and I have been gone from there for the last couple of days.
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